If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
