I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
