I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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