Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
