so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
