Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
