Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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