My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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