somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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