How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
