think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
