Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
