dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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