I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
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