lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
