i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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