Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen

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(864): View more from South Carolina

If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would

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(678): View more from Georgia

Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.

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(219): View more from Indiana

about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?

(219): View more from Indiana

yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?

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(315): View more from New York

as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training

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(727): View more from Florida

She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me

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(450): View more from Quebec

Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question

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