you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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