mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
