Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
