Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
