I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
