I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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