How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'd cum for enchiladas.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
