i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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