people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
