so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
