i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
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