I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
