hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
