I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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