Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
