is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
