you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
