Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
