Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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