just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You ever have a fart follow you around?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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