how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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