I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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