OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Randomize
