You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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