I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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