I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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