just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
the condom got lost in my hair
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
