Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
