So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
