The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
