Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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