Sry I called you an 8
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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