There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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