Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
